April 2020 Set 2

April 2020 Set 2

April 2020 Set 2

goon avatar

It’s fun watching rationalanthropoid’s arguments over at reddit emote devolve into huge walls of text about how CIG sucks at communicating their progress but is also progressing really well, although we cannot really observe that so we must extrapolate the truth based on how much they suck at communicating.

So, since they suck so much at that then what they are truly saying can be anything and therefore it is!

See? a completely coherent, unassailable cast-iron argument!

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Community gophers have no idea what should - or shouldn’t - be on the roadmap, and people working with the internal tool aren’t likely to look at the public roadmap…

You see, the people that know don’t communicate and the people the communicate don’t know. If only there was a solution to this unsolvable problem but alas! even if CIG developers are akin to gods, that would be asking for the impossible.

Luckily for us they are extremely hyper-competent in all the areas that we’re not actually allowed to see.

goon avatar
TheAgent

but the planets rotate and orbit like real life because chris roberts

lol

is the sun orbiting around the planet?? iiam emote

TheAgent

ok if someone replaces the ghost in iiam emote with sexy bear chris and new text of “it is a sexy bear” I will buy iiasb emote

goon avatar

I played Minecraft in alpha. I never once clipped though the floor. Was I ripped off?

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Hello dear Citizen,

why i need your help you ask? I will tell you… But first, my head explode! I am total depressed. I feel abandoned from CIG. Sometimes i wake up and regret everything and just start to cry.

I’am total serious.

What happened? Like 3 Month ago i participate in an giveaway here on Reddit. (https://www.reddit.com/r/starcitize...ang_starter_kit) I won! It was such a cool feeling. The Giveaways OP send me an personal message and say something like: he just want to quit SC forever and will also gift me his Carrack and Cutlass Red too”. So i telled him to send the original Starter Pack from the Giveaway to my friend (as a surprise) and send me the Carrack + Cutlass Red.

After a few seconds ~ voila I f*** got a Carrack and a Cutlass Red! I screamed my lung out. I started to melt this stuff and buy me the subscriber 890J. I just was the luckiest guy in the world.

Now the bad thing… On the 21th of January i got an Mail from CIG. My Account got temporary closed. Due to suspicious gift activity. I thought: “Ok. Maybe its just a check up. Because the worth of gifting was to big!” I instantly respond to the Mail from CIG, because they write to send them stuff to help for investigate the thing etc.

I send them Screenshots, Names, Dates, What happened and the original link from the Reddit Giveaway.

Yeah.

Till now - no answer, no information, nothing.

Why i’am so mentaly broke you ask?

I am a student here in germany and i have like NO Money. I live in Berlin where the rental for my flat is huge!

Two things are bad and destroy myself…

First: Many of the german community member can confirm you all, that i spare alot of money. I just wanted so bad to buy the Constellation Phoenix because i’m in love with this beauty! I put back needs like food till i managed to buy it on the last CitCon. And i was the happiest guy on earth.

I am scared that this is gone.

Second: I am a long time subscriber and during the deactivation/ban of my Account, CIG is charging my Bankaccount still with the amount of the normal subscription. I dont know what to do. I cant cancel my subscription, because i cant loggin. I worked as an IT costumer support and know what a pain in the ass it is, when i charge the money back. And yeah… At least i dont want to charge it back… Because my hopes are high, to evantually get my Account back.

So please… Spread this.

Scruffpuff

The product is constantly changing, based on the timeline of Chris failing to do something. It’s Squadron 42, the spiritual successor to Wing Commander, which he made (he didn’t make it) back in the day! Oops, he sucks and can’t make it. Well lookie here, it’s Star Marine! More lethal than Call of Duty, this FPS shooter … well shit, he can’t make that either. Hey guys, it’s Arena Commander, the space arena shooter with space ships… fuck, he can’t do that either. Guys check this shit out - it’s Theaters of War, more lethal that Fortnite and you can … well fuck this, he can’t do that either, goddamnit. Hey guys, it’s Star Citizen, a limitless MMO with ….

laffo emote yeah I’m sure Chris can do that. Go make that WoW-killer

More Delays

Star Citizen fans furious after devs keep removing features from the roadmap every week

goon avatar

Star Citizen players might finally be realizing that the entire game is actually an elaborate scam thanks to the recent spat of feature delays.

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Covid or not. This is just bad. I’m sorry.

If at least you would have added ONE gameplay loop in there to make up for it. ONE!

But no… We get a LONG awaited Grim EX rework. Yes, that’s what we REALLY need right now. Thank you!

Keep up with the excuses and the disappointment train.

You are proving the nay Sayers right CIG. Step it up. It’s been 4 months of NOTHING but going backwards… THIS CAN’T GO ON! Wake up and step it up.

Sorry for the salt, but this is getting ridiculous.

Please at least give

ONE

NEW

GAMEPLAY

LOOP.

ONE CIG! It’s been YEARS since you made a new profression. Give us refuelling T0, or repairing, or salvaging. Something… ANYTHING… But just a GRIM EX rework. That’s not good enough! Sorry!

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Starting to think I may be one of those “fanboys”

getting harder to defend this now. Why does making a grenade throw take 9 years In a purpose built FPS engine?

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Why did they remove salvaging last year then? And other gameplay features? How is that COVID-19s fault? First it was because they are planning for citizencon, then because they are focusing on SQ42 and now the excuse is COVID-19? You would think some people are so ignorant that they excuse every delay for years

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Derek Smart is fucking smart. He called out Chris Roberts years ago.

Scruffpuff

“Death animation improvements.” People who ask what 600+ people are doing - here’s your answer. Low-hanging fruit and busywork in a game that hasn’t reached the design stage yet. Other games have guns, let’s put them in! What? Physics? Fuck off, and fix those Drake decal reflections. And the elevator panels - get to work on those. What - nothing actually works and the game is crashing, horrid shit and it basically Truman Show the game? Fuck off, and work on smoke effects v3.

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I am a long time SC backer and have been involved in seemingly 100s of discussions about defending why things get delayed in the dev process. However for the first time, the feeling of thinking maybe CIG don’t have everything together hit me.

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Dear CIG…

(This comment has been delayed to 4.0)

goon avatar

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It isn’t CIGs fault that COVID ravaged their progress for this year. There is so much redirected anger being thrown at CIG right now for them doing the right thing and putting their employees first. Please, 3.9 is around the corner. It breaks my heart to see so many people leaving over this

Called it. CIG didn’t even have to say a thing about COVID-19 delays. All they had to do was say that everyone was working from home and then let the Citizens Defense Force go wild and do all of the work for them. Now any delays all the way into 2021 will be not be CIG’s fault.

goon avatar

Yup a week’s disruption is responsible for 8 years of delays and failure.

Scruffpuff

You know, all this talk about the roadmap falls right into CIG’s hands. “Look, they missed a target! Look, item A slipped a release! Look, item B is missing! LOL @ everything”

The roadmap doesn’t matter because CIG is not making a game. The “roadmap” is a complete fucking fabrication that serves one purpose: to create a battleground to contain the argument where it’s most advantageous to CIG. The fact that it’s yet another cargo-cult trapping of game development is secondary. The very act of addressing the roadmap implies that we’re taking CIG and their published goals at their word.

Where was Theater of War on the “roadmap?” Or a million other things missing or added? CIG, behind the scenes, does what it wants, when it wants, and what it does with regard to building a game is very little, if anything at all. The roadmap is the brainchild of one or two guys at CIG and has no true bearing on the state of the project beyond a weekly email “what are you working on, when will it get done” and hundreds of moronic talentless employees fire back whatever bullshit sounds good that day, then go to “work” and failing miserably at related, or completely unrelated, goals … or whatever Chris spat and gurgled out that month.

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Since the end of 2018 it has only been a series of lies and disappointments

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Im reallllyyy hoping for another hour long, sweaty, and stammering appearance by Chris as he absolves himself again of all responsibility for the lack of any progress. But I really think he’s headed for the exit and it won’t happen.

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Rexzilla loved Star Citizen so very, very much. It was a sincere love, a true love. He was ready to spend it all. And now he’s gone. So sad. What could possibly have happened? Someone should ask him.

peter gabriel
https://i.imgur.com/ZKcmCxt.jpg
Scruffpuff

I was watching a game stream the other day and someone brought up Star Citizen and the entire chat was flooded with lol emotes and “SCAM” for about 3 minutes, with the obligatory “the game is coming along fine” which was probably Joe Bazooka creating an account and logging in on the fly to defend it.

PRISON

goon avatar

I’m watching the first stupid video of the jail gameplay, and Jesus Christ almighty I don’t know how I am constantly so surprised by this shit, but it is actually fucking 3-actual-hours-and-15-real-ass-minutes of doing fuck all in the dark.

Why. Why, Chris? Why, CI¿G? Why and how??

No person could honestly look at this and think, “Yes, this is something that even one person would honestly want to do.”

Holy shit. Jesus fuck. $300 million, 8 years, 500 people, and all the fucking goodwill you could ever ask for. A community that does shit for you constantly. And this–fucking _this_–is what all of that bought??

Cool.

Yeah, but you tell me, has it ever been done before?

goon avatar

When I think of spacegames the first thing that comes to mind is prison gameplay. Who would want to explore different star systems with your purchased space jpgs? That stuff is for weirdos and losers!

goon avatar

Since the game will just randomly slap you with a crime-stat for no reason, hopefully prisons will discourage almost all player activities, and citizens can go back to playing the game as it was intended; which is aimlessly no-clipping around in your $1000 nerd chariot and posting screenshots to Reddit with captions about the fun space adventure you’re imagining in your head.

Beet Wagon

Holy shit lmao. When they first started talking about mandatory prison sentences I remember people speculating on 20 minute sentences and laughing because even that would kill the game. Fucking 18 hours are you kidding me? Forty minutes of hand-mining rocks in a cave? Honestly I don’t even have words for how funny this is, it’s fucking wild.

The thing is, a punishment ceases to be useful if it just makes people quit playing lol.

goon avatar

Mechanic: Timer doesn’t count down when you’re not in game

Result: When you have a prison sentence, you don’t want to play the game anymore

Mechanic: Timer does count down when you’re not in game

Result: When you have a prison sentence, you can’t play the game even you want to

Checks out! Good game design in action!

The Titanic

This is obviously a goon internal op where goons pass “bad ideas” to an innocent Chris and he doesn’t catch them in time while he’s making the perfect video game.

goon avatar

The whales will fucking love it. Having other people be punished for attacking their chariots is like manna from heaven.

It’s honestly a genius move

peter gabriel

Thing is though in reality what will happen is Miku will be reversing his uber chariot into a parking space or some shit and he’ll accidentally ding someone’s Mustang and get a crime stat.

See, whichever way you look at it it’s awesome, cos the only kind of person who won’t give a shit is griefers, they’ll just go wild until they get jailed then log off for the night giggling

goon avatar

No one paid CIG money for prison game, people paid them money SEVEN years ago for dlc internet spaceships that they still have not delivered on.

That’s what’s truly criminal and I hope will lead to Chris Roberts and friends getting a opportunity to experience some authentic prison time.

The Titanic

Honestly if a game doesn’t force-lock me into a room for at least 2 hours every other play session, I feel kind of ripped off really.

–————————

goon avatar

**I’ve been on projects like this. The kind of bugs that we’re seeing in SC - mainly random jank - are caused by lack of technical leadership, lack of architectural direction, lack of ownership, and lack of vision by the developers who are doing the work. Poor communication is a big factor but it’s a by product of the things that I already mentioned. No one is in charge on the floor where the sausage is made. You can bet that each studio has communication problems internally, let alone communication between studios. Teams don’t talk to each other, and I’ll also put money on the fact that the production staff are completely useless too, being completely hamstrung by Crobbler’s bullshit.

It’s not going to get better, either. It’s just going to get worse, as systems are developed and slammed together in a half assed way.** I can tell you with 100% certainty that a lot of these bugs are caused by multiple people implementing the same features as each other, unaware that someone else is doing the same work - and it’s all done badly.

There’s clearly no attempt whatsoever to make maintainable, sustainable, scalable systems. There’s jank in there right now that will never get scrubbed out - it CAN’T be fixed, because the whole project is a big wobbly pile of jank built on top of jank by people who lack experience, lack leadership, and are working in a toxic environment that trickles all the way down via Crobbler’s diseased secretions.

I can say this with authority because I have been here. I have felt all this pain before, and I can see the signs very very clearly.

goon avatar
https://i.imgur.com/DWzKg7D.png

I love this shitshow

goon avatar

A little known fact is that the ‘PC’ in PC gaming stands for “Praise Chris”

As Seen on SOMETHINGAWFULDOTCOM